10 First-Date Mistakes

The best thing about bad dates is that we walk away with a great story, and little doubt that the perpetrator is not the person for us. I was thinking about some of the errors made on first dates and came up with 10 common mistakes that could kill the chances for a second date:

1. Arriving Late
Even five minutes of lateness is inexcusable on the first date. People are already anxious, so making someone wait and stress out more about everything is pretty rude. It seems like the trend in NYC is to be late for things regularly. On one date, I texted the girl and told her I was running late. She said she was too. We ended up just having the date half an hour later than planned and technically no one was late because we were both half an hour late together.

2. Wardrobe Malfunction
Make sure you align what you wear to what you're doing. I try not to make a girl walk too much if she's in heels. Also, I've seen girls wear pearls and a nice blouse at trashy outdoor drinking events, or heels to sporting events.

3. Talking Politics or Religion
Staying away from content that can spark a debate is a good idea the first time out. It's fun to argue with your significant other, but I think it's important to reach a comfort level first. If you try to proselytize someone, or battle them over a hot topic, you may reach a point of no return.

4. Checking Out Other People
You'd think that no one would do this, but guys are always looking at waitresses, or other patrons when out. One friend got in hot water because his date told me he made cat calls at other girls while on a date. Talk about a mistake!

5. Bringing Friends on a Non-Group Date
If you bring friends along on your date you look immature and insecure. You also throw the other person for a loop if they were expecting the date to be one-on-one. Make sure you establish that it is a one-on-one date upfront, and then follow the rules and show up alone.

6. Drinking Too Much
Some people turn into a completely different person when they are drunk. Let the other person get to know you while you're sober. Alcohol should be introduced into the relationship slowly, but if a drink or two takes the edge off, and wine adds romance it's fine. Just don't push it too far.

7. Being Too Aggressive
No one wants to deal with someone's wandering hands before they are ready. It is one of the surest ways to creep someone out. Just because someone is getting dinner with someone once doesn't mean it's an invitation into the sack. It's best to be hands off on the first date.

8. Not Being Aggressive Enough
My friend Margaret tells me to be more aggressive all the time. She said that if I don't kiss someone at the end of a date, or make a move when they hop in my bed they will begin to think something's wrong with them, or that I'm not into them. Maybe that's true, but sometimes I play it safe so that I don't break the rule I just mentioned above.

9. Canceling at the Last Minute or Standing Someone Up
Canceling for a legitimate reason is fine, but respect your date's time so that they can plan their night without you. Canceling one hour before a date is not cool — most of the date prep has already started at this point. Standing someone up is also very rude. What does it accomplish? If you change your mind, at least have the courtesy to just cancel. There's no need to make someone feel bad and waste their time just because you're too chicken to cancel the date.

10. Dominating the Conversation
Try to breathe in between sentences, and don't talk too much. Give your date a chance to speak. Aren't you trying to get to know one another? And don't speak for that other person (i.e order for them at dinner) unless they invite you to help with their order.