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Saturday, March 14, 2009

How Many Chances Do You Give a Cheater?

He Said ...
I'd break up immediately after I found out my girlfriend cheated on me and I'd never give her another chance regardless of how "good" things ever were. Cheating is extremely selfish, and I'd never be able to let go of the mental image of her cheating on me. And cheaters are often repeat offenders.

If I felt stupid the first time I got cheated on, how stupid would I feel the second time around? It's always good to go out on top: After she cheated on me, I would tell her to get lost, and I'd remain the guy who didn't do anything wrong. That will leave her to float around and wonder what could have been, and live with the guilt.

She Said ...
A cheater should never get another chance. Infidelity in a committed relationship is the single most hurtful thing one can do to their partner.

That said, I understand how a relationship might lead to infidelity over the course of years, falling in and out of love with a partner and in and out of attraction with each other. One side yearns for that heated moment of a first passionate kiss (and probably more) that signals they are wanted and desired. But what happens to the one left behind to uphold the commitment agreed upon by the two? There is simply nothing worse than that feeling of discovery.

Best-case scenario, it comes directly from the cheating partner, but more often than not, it comes through a third party or a chance encounter with an odd text message or phone call in the middle of the night. A cheater cannot possibly love their partner if they can do that to them, and therefore does not deserve a second chance.

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