Spot a Real-Life Vampire

The Buddy Thief
She's a new acquaintance who hijacks your social life by befriending all of your pals.
How to spot:
She only wants to go out with you if you're getting an amazing group together. You suddenly notice a ton of your friends on her Facebook page. You hear from your girls that she's invited them to dinners and parties — and hasn't included you.

The Flaky Friend with Benefits
He's lurking in your life — soaking up your love and affection — but refuses to commit.
How to spot:
You only see him after dark. You don't know what his voice sounds like on the phone. The only meal you've ever shared is late-night pizza.

The Clingy Coworker
Her constant need for help and reassurance tests your patience.
How to spot:
She appears to only be able to speak in interrogative sentences, such as, "How do I do that?" and "Where is the copier, again?" You're constantly having to tell her, "No, the boss doesn't hate you," and "No, you're not getting fired." When she can't manage to complete a project, it magically lands on your desk.

The Mooch
This friend drains your bank account by taking advantage of your generosity.
How to spot:
When she invites you over for dinner, you somehow wind up bringing the main dish, salad, and wine. At bars, she often claims to have forgotten her ATM card at home. You tell her she can crash on your couch for a week between apartments, and she's still there three months later.

The Drama Queen
Empathizing with her takes up nearly all of your time and energy.
How to spot:
She always writes "911" text messages to be sure you will call her immediately. It doesn't feel like a normal conversation unless she breaks down in tears at least once. She asks for your advice and then promptly does the exact opposite.

The High-Maintenance Boyfriend
This dude likes to be doted on and insists on monopolizing your attention at all times.
How to spot:
He doesn't know how to turn on the oven. He thinks foreplay is a one-way street that leads to his penis. He insists you hang out with his friends, and then won't so much as talk to yours.